My name is Nick Sabala, the website's creator, I wrote this letter (below) to a Kaiser Hospital physician in which I attempted
in clearing up some confusion. You see in 2003 and 2004, I may have been the first person in history to do this, tried to
diagnose myself with ADHD for the purpose of obtaining a prescription to a pharmaceutical methamphetamine (Ritalin,Concerta,
Methylphenidate). The purpose, well, I was using street methamphetamines for my assumed ADD/ADHD and it was working for me
but the problems were price and legal issues. My plan was to transfer sides, so to speak, and do the right thing. It didn't
work out as planned and all hell broke lose after that. This letter is my attempt at clearing things up. Check it out.
Dear Dr. Clar and Kaiser Hospital Staff Involved,
My name is Nicholaus Sabala, medical #xxxxxx,
I was a patient of yours, and some of your collegues, in early 2004, I am writing this letter to explain, apologize, to face
any consequences and to clear up parts of my medical records that to this day are still affecting me. In November of 03 -
April of 04 I was seen by many different doctors at Kaiser but I was initially treated for depression (Dr. K Ngyuen). I was
given Prozac 20 milligrams once daily, which I agreed take as prescribed. What Dr. Ngyuen did not know was that I was
using ephedrine energy pills (30 milligrams per pill) and street methamphetamines frequently along with the Prozac.
Also, during one of my appointments, I lied by telling one of my doctors that my mom had been diagnosed with bi-polar in her
past. She wasn't. I did this to speed up the process of possibly finding the right medication for me because I figured that
I would get diagnosed with it as well (Due to the fact that bi-polar disorder usually runs in the family). After, being diagnosed
I would get another medication. I caught on quick, at least I thought I did, and figured on getting a prescription for
something that was a chemical equivalent to the street drugs I was taking.
After being diagnosed with bi-polar disorder they prescribed me Wellbutrin.....................
didn’t work out too well for me because they gave me a headache, so this meant I would have to wait until my next visit
to tell my doctor that I would like a change of meds. but that was about a month or so away.
As time went on I came up with a plan, I would
try to get my doctor to prescribe me something that was equivalent to the street methamphetamines I was taking by telling
him I had ADHD. During this time I read that the #1 treatment of ADD/ADHD in America today is amphetamines/methamphetamines.
Did I have ADHD? I thought so.
Instead of waiting
‘til my next appointment, I decided that my problem was too urgent,so I decided to check myself into Kaiser’s
emergency room on a night in Feb. 2004. I told them the meds. they had me on were making feel overanxious and that people
around me could be in danger.This was also lie, but, I had to have a good enough of a reason to be seen there
soon. I didn't
like dealing with the street stuff, though it was helping me, the risks were just too high to continue using it.
It almost worked, I was seen immediately by an
on call physician, you Dr. Clar, but it didn’t turn out how I had planned, I didn’t get what I wanted. Again,
I did all this so that I did not have to deal with the street stuff for even another minute (Remember that all methamphetamine
and amphetamines are controlled substances in America which makes it illegal to posses without a prescription, I wanted a
prescription) but I couldnt just write my own prescription. I really didn’t want to go to jail so getting this prescription
was very important to me in this situation. I thought that if I asked for a prescription of pharmacuedical speed or meth.
I would be turned down.
I was a drug addict that was
trying to help myself, feed my addiction and manipulate the system (in a good way) all at the same time. I did have intentions
to quit the illegal stuff after getting a prescription for the pharmaceutical stuff. It was just unexpectedly difficult to
quit the street stuff.
Now, by me doing this, we have some
questions to ask and answer. #1 did I ever really have bi-polar disorder? I certainly had some of the symptoms of ADHD/ADD
as a child and it is still something I struggle with currently in my college career but bi-polar, I don't know.
#2, what effects did all these drugs, prescription and/or non, have on me mentally and physically? I guess that is my problem
but getting this random medication was kind of easy compared to the possible health risks they could have created.
#3, What wrong label do I have on me due to my emergency room visit and is it fixable?
I think that because of my interfering drug use on the side, an accurate diagnosis was nearly
impossible at that time.
There came a point were I finally confessed using street
meth. during treatment there. When I told my doctor (Dr. Diamond) that I was using methamphetamines in treatment of my presumed
ADD/ADHD he freaked out, predictably, and sent me back to work(I was off work under State Disability Insurance, approved by
Kaiser, for my Bi-polar and depression from 1-09-04 to 3-22-04) and to an outpatient rehabilitation center, CDRP, on the same
day. I chose the rehab. center and after talking to the intake specialist I was actually told, if I was not getting what I
wanted to go back and request a change of physicians. I tried that and was never responded to, subsequently, due to missing
work that day, I was fired for not showing up. This led to a loss of coverage thirty days later.
I don’t know the consequences for doing what I did but I feel that I am ready to face them now. I may not have known
what I was doing during this unusual chain of events but my intentions were always for the good and were to help me first,
at whatever the cost. I just went with my instincts. I acknowledge that I should have always been truthful from the start
and I should have tried harder to quit the street stuff completely.
Unfortunately, we never found out if I officially had ADHD, which would make me partially correct for what I did or tried
to do. I think this is extremely important in this matter. Also, I'm currently being seen by a doctor in a county funded
clinic which I'm being treated (5 milligrams of Zyprexa once daily) for my assumed bi-polar that stems from my original diagnosis
at Kaiser. So I could be taking pills for no reason? I also know that there is no completely accurate way to diagnose bi-polar
disorder or ADHD. The current method of diagnosis and treatment, which I'm evidence of, is by educated guesses and trial and
Another thing is when I checked myself into your E.R.
that night I might have stuck myself with an incorrest label (51/50). Since it was a lie, I would like to know if that can
With all this I would like to close with a very
serious apology and my true respects to the staff involved at your hospital. Thank you.